Easy Ways to Build Your Sexual Confidence

Not everyone has high sexual confidence, and this is perfectly natural. All of us have some sort of insecurity, whether it’s about our bodies, relationships, performance, and so on. Fortunately, it only takes a little effort to regain your sexual self-esteem. If you follow our easy ways to build your sexual confidence, you’ll eliminate trauma, insecurities, and other mental or emotional factors. Eventually, you’ll improve your sex life and strengthen your overall personality. Take a look at our tips for building confidence in the bedroom!

Take Inventory of Your Feelings

The first step towards building your sex appeal and feeling sexually confident is to look inward. Take all the time you need! Tap into your past and present to see how your sexual experiences have impacted your self-esteem. Was sex bad for you because you were nervous, shy, or tired? Or was your partner inappropriate?

Anything goes here, and one way to keep track of your feelings is to write them down. This can be a long list or a diary that you could update frequently. Granted, not everyone will feel good about writing down their feelings and experiences. If you’re courageous, putting your thoughts on paper is an effective way to get your feelings out in the open. In fact, therapists usually use this approach as a type of homework for their patients. Taking inventory of the way you feel gives you a 360-degree perspective on what needs to be done with your sexual self-esteem.

Still, if you’ve experienced serious physical or mental traumas in the past or even abuse, confronting such feelings will not be easy. If this is too difficult for you, you will see the best result if you talk to a professional therapist.

Get to Know Yourself on a More Intimate Level

Another highly effective tip that will boost your sexual confidence is to think about your likes and dislikes. Sex should be about doing the things that you love. Here, you need to be brutally honest. Think about what you like without holding back. Also, you shouldn’t apologize or feel guilty for your preferences. As you know, your first and most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. If this relationship doesn’t work, most of your other relationships could suffer.


So how can you feel closer to yourself? As mentioned, think about what you desire and what makes you feel good. Also, consider what you want out of a relationship. What sort of sexual qualities are you looking for in a partner? What are your best sexual attributes? If you don’t know, that could be the reason for your low sexual confidence. Nevertheless, if you take the time to analyze yourself and your sexuality, you will get a better perspective on what you’re really looking for.

Safely Explore Your Interests

Obviously, sex is a two-way street. Everyone should make an effort to please their partner. However, you shouldn’t neglect your own fun and joy.


When you look inwards and discover what you like the most, we recommend you try it on your own before having sex with a partner. Through self-love and masturbation, you can dedicate all the time to yourself. You won’t need to worry about someone else. Then, you can put your sole focus on your pleasure, your mind, and your body.


What’s more, sex therapists even recommend that before you masturbate, you should check yourself out. Look at your body and examine the parts that you like the most. What about the ones that you dislike? If you can change something through diets and physical activity, then go for it. If you feel ashamed of a certain body part, reflect on it.

A young woman is stretching her legs for the rest of the day on her bed.

Not everyone has the strength to go through this though. Yet, focusing on what you like and exploring the parts of your body that you are confident in can work wonders for your self-esteem. Thus, think about which body parts respond the best to stimuli. Which parts are off-limits? Then, through masturbation, you’ll learn about the best techniques that make you feel empowered. You could even experiment with sex toys to improve your orgasms and intensify your response to stimulation.

Communicate Honestly About Sexuality Beforehand With Your Partner

Understanding your sexual history, your body, and your needs will not only enable you to feel better during sex. When you figure out what you want and what feels best, you will be able to communicate it much more easily to your partner. Just remember, don’t feel ashamed of your preferences!


Obviously, it’s not always pleasant to talk to people regarding your sexual preferences. Most people never do it, and they simply jump into bed hoping for the best. However, we don’t recommend this to anyone who has low sexual self-esteem.


Most sexual therapists will advise people to always talk to their partner before sex. It’s essential because it allows you to understand your and your partner’s boundaries. Additionally, you should be open about any possible triggers that could make you feel ashamed or unsafe. Discussing your preferences, kinks, and fantasies is also highly encouraged. If you have a long talk, you’ll minimize any potential insecurities or accidents that could come up during sex.

Learn to Develop Routines and Habits That’ll Get You in the Mood

What happens if you’re simply not in the mood? What if sex doesn’t inspire you or make you feel good? Once you complete our previous tips, you can try the following steps. The goal here is to develop a routine or ritual. This is similar to self-care routines that most people do before going to sleep, except it has a lot to do with sexual exploration.


Every night, you could develop habits that make you enjoy sex and feel more confident. This could be a certain arousal ritual. It could involve anything that turns you on. That is, it could include solo or mutual masturbation, using sex toys, watching porn, etc. What you’ll aim to do here is to find acts that increase your arousal quickly. You could, for instance, read erotic stories or novels or give/receive a sensual massage without genital or other forms of stimulation. The activity doesn’t have to be purely sexual either.

Final Thoughts

Finally, remember that it’s your birthright to have good sex. You shouldn’t suffer simply because of past mistakes, incompatible partners, or traumas. You are stronger than that and you deserve better! Good luck with our tips!